The Ray Rice scandal has been the most hot button issue flooding my news feed for the last few weeks.
I have to admit that seeing a domestic abuse case attracting so much of the spotlight has added a touch of nausea to my already fried nerves...thank you, midterms and HOA season.
I feel like I've read the story and watched the video a thousand times.
Along with the commentary.
I have found that this situation, like most very high profile issues, has gained a lot of attention from not just social media, but the news, the NFL, and the blog-o-sphere
Everyone has an opinion.
And they always will.
Trust me, I've learned this the hard way over the last year.
People can be so cruel in their opinions, even when they don't mean to be.
They can take a painful and embarrassing situation, and make it that much more painful and embarrassing with their soapboxes and crusades to end injustice.
And while I can't speak for Janay Palmer, nor can anyone else, I can speak for myself.
And I will be the first one to stand up and say, I get it.
The anger. The defense. The desire to go back to your life exactly as it was before the world tattled on you.
Nothing to see here. Just keep moving, people.
Because in the middle of the out cries and calls for justice, the one thing the world just doesn't seem to get unless you've walked a mile in her shoes is the reason for it all: fear.
Fear will hold you in place and make you stand your ground longer than you ever thought possible. And no, it isn't just the fear of the abuse. It's fear of so many things: being alone, failure, letting people down.
It paralyzes you. It makes you feel like you've played all your cards, and you don't have any where to turn for help. The voices inside your head are constantly screaming at you-pushing you to be prettier, sexier, a better cook, a more consistent housekeeper, and less opinionated. If you would only listen to them and just change a,b, and c then x, y, and z wouldn't happen anymore.
It seems that simple.
People always totally miss that part of it.
And that's what angers me about these very public displays of social justice.
Excuse me, world?! Do you really think your doing her any favors by blasting her personal life all over the television?
Do you really think that will change what goes on behind closed doors?
Listen, if you want to help...like really help...why not try putting down your cell phone and investing in those who are victims of domestic abuse in your own neighborhood.
The ones you can touch and see.
Why not volunteer at the local shelter for abused women or donate items those shelters actually need?
Why not stick up for the girl at the bar whose getting pushed around by her boyfriend and offer to pay for her cab?
Why not tell the bartender when you see someone slip something into that lonely girl's drink?
Why not make a legitimate stand for those in your community who need you, instead of ranting about some NFL player and an organization that doesn't even know you exist?
Domestic abuse is real.
Date rape is real.
Dating abuse is real.
And there are real organizations who need your help and your campaigning more than Ray Rice does.
So, instead of just vocalizing your opinion on your Facebook page, how about you actually make a difference? Because if it really angers you like you say that it does, then you should use that anger to fuel your fire to make a stand in ways that actually matter.